So I could not sleep in this morning. I'm feeling very frustrated by people right now. This blog is not directed at any particular person but geared more towards conversations that I've had with various people (including strangers). So if you read this and feel offended, please don't. This is not intended to put anyone down but I just need to vent.
I feel sad that we live in a place with people who are so judgemental and hypocritical of others. I'm going to use the medical field as a basis for this blog because this is an area where I am passionate about. For example, I've recently decided to have a c-section. For those of you who have been talking with me this has not been an easy decision. I really wanted to have a vaginal birth. However, with much research and talking with people (including my medical team) Tony and I have reached the decision to have a C-section. And no, my doctor did not recommend it and left the decision completely up to us. I feel that this is the best thing for me and the baby. Yes, I know the increased risks to me and the baby. But isn't there risks to everything we do? There are increased risk by putting my son through various surgery to fix his birth defect so does that mean I shouldn't fix his problem? Don't think so. I've heard comments about people saying that they don't have faith in our medical system because they've had some bad experiences. I've had some bad experiences with mechanices. Does that mean I'm not going to have my car fixed when there is something wrong with it because of those bad experiences? Certainly not. I'll go to a different mechanic or get a second opinon.
I wish I could tell you that our medical care system is great and that every doctor I work with is totally awesome. This isn't true. I disagree with some of our doctors on a daily basis. However, I see a lot of good that comes from good doctors and good medical teams on a daily basis. Funny how people say that they have lost faith in our healthcare system and are quick to judge others making their medical decisions, but when they get sick they go get help from the "people they've lost faith in". Stop blaming others and take responsibility for your decisions whether its to get a c-section or run for president. People are going to find good and bad in everything they do. If you disagree with something, get a second opinion and do research (and not at some stupid .com website, learn to look for reliable resources). Talk to others who have gone through similar experiences but don't just rely on those people's opinions to point you in the right direction.
I can't tell you how many times people judged me for getting the genetic testing done. Many are against genetic testing because of false positives and the fact that people make "bad" decisions if something shows up. If Riley's condition would have shown up on the genetic screen (cleft and lip palattes don't specifically raise your numbers) would I have aborted him or change my course of my pregnancy in anyway? Absolutely not. Would I have aborted my child if I knew he would have a very poor quality of life and wouldn't live past the age of one? Maybe. I'm glad I had the testing done and agreed for another ultrasound. It certainly did not change our course of action but now Tony and I are prepared and will be able to handle Riley's condition to the fullest of our ability. I don't see the harm in knowing ahead of time about his condition. One thing I learned from this experience is you can't judge someone's situation/decisions unless you've been through it yourself and you have as much reliable knowledge on the issue to make an informed decision.
I'm not perfect and I am guilty of trying to argue and judge on points that I'm no educated on. Politics is a good example. I seemed to have opinions on various topics but no evidence to back that up. I've sinced stopped doing this for the most part (partially because Tony and my dad would get so frustrated with me) and the fact that I realized I was making decisions and judging others when I didn't have all the facts. This isn't right. Just because I disagree with something doesn't mean I need to judge others. Do I agree with giving birth at home or not treating your ailments because of religious purposes?? Absolutely not but I'm learning to respect people's decisions and try to educate myself on why people make these decisions. As long as they are educated in their decisions and feel that this is the best thing for them, then I can respect their reasonings.
Anyways, I have no idea if this blog makes any sense to people but just thought I'd vent for a little while :)
All excellent, excellent points, Kari.
ReplyDeleteC-section should always be a last resort. I had one and it was the most painful thing I have ever done and then try being a new mom and going through all of that pain. Whenever I talk to people about my birth and tell them I had a c-section they always say they wanted one but no way would I want to do it again especially voluntarily. Good luck with your choice.
ReplyDeleteI would rather go through pain that put my baby through any more stress than what he has too. Out of several people I have talked to only a few people said the pain was aweful. I'm not scared of the pain.
ReplyDeleteHaving a vaginal birth is normal for a child. It does not put more stress on them. And I doubt being ripped from the womb is any better. You can't even hold your baby right away after having a c-section unlike a natural birth, you just have to lay there getting sewn up for an hour while someone else is with your baby. Sad. =( I can't believe that it is even an option doctors are giving the parents when there is no risk involved. Trust me babies come out screaming either way you do it. And when you are in pain for 6 weeks after who cares about you it is more difficult to care for your child, sure if I just had the csection and had time to rest and heal, no biggie, but when you get no sleep and are taking care of your baby you are not the only one to suffer. I understand your baby has a cleft lip but does that cause any more risk for having a vaginal birth? If so than that would make sense. I think you should think more about your decision.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to think more about my decision. It was not an easy decision but I won't be able to hold my baby immediately anyways. I am going to have tons of help after the baby is born. When there is someting wrong with your child your perception changes. I'm not going to be able to hold my child after he is born anyways. He's going directly into the care of a neonatologist to make sure there is nothing else wrong with him. And yes, hours and hours of labor can put more stress on your child. My friend just went through 18 hours of labor and baby's heart could not tolerate a vaginal birth and she had to have a c-section anyways. Sorry you don't agree with my decision but you have no idea what its like knowing that there is something wrong with your baby and wanting to make sure he is okay.
ReplyDelete