Another nasal stint in

Sorry it's been so long since my last update. It's been very busy for the both of us as I returned to work on Sunday so we are trying to get used to our schedules. I'm so thankful for my parents who have been watching Riley so much lately while Tony and I are going to and from work. I really don't have much of an update as far as Riley goes. The second nasal stint was placed last week and the orthodontist also anchored the stints down better so they won't come out. It has made a big difference because now the stints don't move around. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find our camera again so I don't have an updated picture of his progress but he is looking very good and responding well to the treatment. The orthodontist (Dr. Glick) says she is really impressed. She says Tony and I are doing a great job with handling the Nam device and all of the taping. We went again to the orthodontist today and she just adjusted the stints a little bit. She didn't even have to take the NAM out which was nice. Tony and I were told today that she would like to see Riley on Jan 5th as Cindy McCain (Senator John McCain's wife for those of you who don't follow politics) to tour the facility and Dr. Glick wants to have some of her patients there as Cindy and John have a daughter with cleft lip and palate. So we are hoping that works out. I think that would be a facinating meeting.

Kudos to my husband. I returned to work on Sunday. The night before, Riley would not sleep. He would cry as soon as I put him down and I could not calm him. Tony was at work so I had no help. I got 2 hours of intermittent sleep so I was dead on my feet on Sunday. Sunday night Tony was such an awesome husband and let me sleep through the entire night so I could be somewhat alert for my shift on Monday. What a great husband!!

Stents are in, getting ready to return to work

Poor Riley. At our last week's orthodontist appointment the first nasal stent was put in. Needless to say, it did not go well. He was fine with it in but as you can see from the picture, its got the perfect space for a little baby finger to pull on it and pull it out which he did both. He had the stent on for 2 hours and he had already moved it. The first thing the orthodontist told us not to do was to bend it back ourselves. Well we broke that rule. How could we not when this became a popular thing for Riley to do. Yes we actually taped socks around his little wrists but he managed to get those off. He won't even stay in Tony's super swaddles anymore. And we had to start the taping. The stent is pushing up on his nose where the tape is pushing down on this premaxila area. His skin is tolerating it a bit better but still not great. And he continues to cry when we apply the tape. The first picture you see above is to show what his premaxila looks like after a week with the NAM in.

To change the subject, my FMLA is up at the end of this week. It's bitter sweet. I love my job but it is also very difficult to leave my baby at home. I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom but know it is very difficult in today's economy. Its very stressful to put together a work schedule for both Tony and I as Tony works nights and I work days. Its been very stressful and as I look at our schedules, I feel like I'm saying goodbye to Tony in a way because we won't have much time together. Its bee very hard and I've been very tearful about the whole process but understand that I need to help be a provider as well.

NAM is in

Well, I was looking back at my last post and had not realized how long it has been since I've posted. No I have not fallen off the face of the earth. Its been a hectic week and a half. We did get the NAM in earlier this week. The installment went well although Riley cried. Here is a picture of his NAM:

We put denture cream in the 3 sections to get it to stay in. Never thought my 2 month old baby would be using denture cream! He did pretty well and even slept through the night on Thanksgiving Eve. Thanksgiving was a different story. He woke up happy but was very unhappy the rest of the day. He has been cranky for the last week and a half so I can't say for sure if it is due to the NAM. Feeding is a bit easier but we still have to squeeze the bottle a bit to help him out. It does create a bit of a palate but sucking is still a lot of work. Riley will now be going to the orthodontist once a week to get his weekly adjustments on his NAM. Hopefully things will progress well. Here is a picture of Riley with the NAM. You can barely see it but the nasal stints have not gone in yet:

Tony worked Thanksgiving night so it was pretty hard for me when he was so fussy. We made it through it though. Last night we moved Riley into his own room and he also rolled onto his back all by himself twice. It was pretty exciting. He is getting used to the NAM and hardly notices it anymore it seems. Hopefully he continues to do well with it. This week we go in for another NAM adjustment and his 2 month appointment. We've been working on giving him tummy time everyday. Here is a pic of him holding a popcicle stick (with close observation of course) chilling on is back:

Tony and I are doing well with his NAM. I still have 2 weeks left before going back to work. I can't believe that he is 8 weeks old. How time flies. I post more pictures on my facebook page so feel free to view them. More updates soon!

Orthodontist

We had another orthodontist appointment today. I was kind of relieved as the Riley's taping has not gone well the last few weeks. He has been bleeding off and on and keeps ripping off the tape. His cheeks are also continuing to break out from the tape. Poor guy. We have to do the taping but at the same time he keeps bleeding and breaking out. We can't win either way. The orthodontist told us not to worry that we didn't make much progress from the taping. We were told at our last appointment that the impressions would be taken for the Nam on the next appointment after today but we ended up doing them today. Riley did great. He hardly fussed. I was so proud of him. If anyone has had impressions taken for things like braces, it works pretty much the sae way. It was kind of funny watching the orthodontist try to fit the impression in his mouth but she got it in there and she did it with one try. Riley made a face as the orthodontist says it tastes funny. I wish I would have brought the camera but I forgot. Looks like the Nam will be put in at our appointment next week.

Thank you to my wonderful husband

I've been so caught up with giving people updates about Riley that I seem to only mention Tony briefly if at all in my blogs. I can't even begin to describe what this man means to me though. I couldn't help to think about the first time I ever saw him....in my Spanish class our sophmore year of high school. And how we went from friends to becoming girlfriend and boyfriend. Little did I know that the boy I met in highschool would turn into the best thing that has ever happened to me (besides giving birth to Riley of course). Tony has been there for me and has stood by my side through so many ups and downs. He is my rock. It's amazing how far we have come and how much we have changed and grown together. My love for him is so deep that I can't even begin to describe it. And its thinking about the strength of our love that I have to thank God that he brought us together.

Rough Day

I don't know what happened. I was standing in the kitchen this morning and all of the sudden I became overwhelmed with everything. No, I'm not exhausted. I've been sleeping pretty good actually. I think it was the combination of holding my son down while we are trying this new taping method and listening to him scream, watching my husband wipe blood from Riley's lip because its sore, and trying to figure out how we are going to balance work with doctor's appointments and surgery. I haven't cried about Riley's condition since he's been born. Honestly, I thought I was over the crying but I guess I need to remember that it is a roller coaster with him. I love him and would not trade him for the world but I couldn't help thinking to myself is why couldn't life just be a little teensy bit easier. I know that all of the wishing for this is not going to help but sometimes I can't help it. Tony and I both want to give him the best life possible and he does need special care. This taping is not easy (no its not just putting a piece of tape across his lip although I know that's what it looks like in the pictures). Feeding him requires a lot more concentration than just sticking a bottle in his mouth and watching television. Being there everyday for him is something so important to us and we will do our best. Tony returns back to work tomorrow and I'm sad that we won't have has much time together. I think today was just accumulation of problems and I'd be lying if I told you guys that it gets easier each day because it doesn't.

1 month old

Riley had his first Halloween. He was too little to dress up in a costume but we at least had a Halloween onsie courtesy of Grandma Prentice. It was a relaxing night. We took Riley trick or treating at his friend Logan's house (Logan is 6 months old and our good friend's son). It was nice just to hang out in visit with our friends. We haven't had a chance to do that in a while.

Today Riley had another orthodontist appointment. We were going to start the lasso taping which is where we would loop a piece of guaze around his premaxila which would pull it to Riley's right side more to make it center but when the orthodontist tried to do this he started bleeding a little bit. Another problem I asked myself? Of course!! The orthodontist informed us that she believes there may be a tooth starting to get ready to come out and this may be the cause of the bleeding. Also, she informed us that the premaxilla is often times symmetrical and Riley's is not which is another indicator for the possible immersion of the tooth. It would not be a viable tooth so the orthodontist informed us that we may have to have the plastic surgeon remove it. So the NAM has been pushed back further and now we are looking at the end of the month for the impressions to be taken. Instead of doing the lasso taping, we are going to try and bring Riley's lip on the left side to the front of the premaxila so we will start trying to tape to accomplish that. The orthodontist says she was very impressed on how good he is looking and how well we are taping. I should say how Tony is taping. I hold him down which is hard too. Tony is not afraid to get in there and tape him correctly.

Riley is doing great. He is doing well with his new formula and is no longer constipated!! We have a pediatrician's appointment on Friday so we are curious on how much he weights.

Updates Galore!

Yes people, as you can see from above, the three of us are still alive! I know people have been wanting me to update my blog, but last week has just been insane! Last Monday was the start of Drs appointments every day that week. Monday Tony had a tooth ache so he went to the dentist on Monday. Our dentist is also a friend of ours so of course I had to go to show off baby. Tony had to go back to the dentist again on Tuesday to get a temporary crown. Tuesday was also hard because I made the decision to stop pumping. I felt very guilty but I was not producing enough milk. I would pump for 45 minutes to an hour and would not get enough for a whole feeding. It was very disappointing and time consuming (which isn't working when we are driving to drs appointments everyday across town).

Wednesday was a big appointment. Wednesday we met with the orthodontist......never thought I would be taking my baby to an orthodontist but she is going to play a big role in Riley's life. The orthodonitist is really great which is a relief since she is the only one in the state of Arizona who can use the NAM device. She informed us that his premaxila (the piece that sticks out that is part of his lip and gum) is twisted so he'll need even more special taping to help bring it around to prepare it for surgery. Right now she wants us to continue the single piece of tape as you can see above in the picture. She wants to retract the premaxila more before we start additional taping. The taping is going well as far as it is doing our job but Riley's cheeks and premaxila keep getting sores and keeps breaking out. Luckily I have a husband who is a nurse and is very resourceful. The steristrip (the single piece of tape across his premaxila) is the major cause of the breakout. Tony has been using two pieces of tape used to secure ivs on both cheeks in which we stick the steristrip on to rather tha directly on its cheek. We also stick a little piece of bandaid to the steristrip where it would lay on the premaxila to help protect that area as well. His face is clearing up but we still have a bit of trouble. The taping is hard as I have to hold his head still and he DOES NOT like it one bit. He cries and cries and its never easy for a mommy to hear that. We see the orthodontist again on Nov 3 to check his progress and possibly start more taping. We also met with the feeding specialist there as well who said we were doing an excellent job with feeding and that she figured we didn't need her but she gave us her tips and will continue to meet with us to keep up on his progress.

Thursday was a 2 week post partum check up. My OB is so awesome that I really don't mind going. Tony came along and we brought Riley so he could see him. He said that I looked very tired and for me to take it easy. He says he usually advises his patients to stay in for the first few weeks after delivery but he knew that it was impossible for me. He still doesn't want me to "hit the gym" until he sees me in another 4 weeks which is hard as well. I've lost 19 lbs but now I'm kind of at a stand still and I am really worried about not being able to get rid of this baby weight as my weight has always been an issue for me.

Friday was Riley's pediatricians appointment. He had hit the 6 lb mark and doing well. Friday Riley's Uncle Timmy and Auntie Janine came to visit him for the first time. I could not for the life of me find the camera so I only got videos of this visit. It was relaxing. We didn't do much but I was happy they got to meet him.

Monday I had a dentist appointment. Not fun. Had to have a deep cleaning and have to go back again next Monday to have the other side deep cleaned. Tony and I noticed that Riley was starting to become fussy and appeared constipated.

Today Riley had an appointent with the urologist for his hypospadius. 1 in 300 boys get this and is kind of rare. He is just a rarity all the way around. He pretty much confirmed this diagnosis. It is not dangerous but it's just his "hole" is not in the right place and he is a curvature to his penis. The urologist will try and repair him at the same time we will do his lip. Riley is very constipated and fussy. We called the pediatrician who suggested we start a formula for fussiness and gassiness. The last few feedings he hardly wanted and he continuously bears down but does not have a bowel movement. Tony being a nurse reached up on in there and managed to get a hard piece of stool out. We've also given him a suppository to help him along because the poor thing is miserable. Again, thank God Tony is a nurse because he was able to disimpact him a bit. Also, Riley also has a hard time clearing his secreations so at least once a day he chokes. He lets out this shrill cry to let us know he has a build up of secreations in his throat. We were told this was fairly common with babies without a palate. It scared me the first few times it has happens and it still does but I am geting used to it and I know now how to hande this when it happens.

We are adjusting to being new parents and are enjoying it. Tony doesn't go back to work until Nov 7th so we still have some time before he heads back to work.

A few firsts

Riley's lip taped down

Not a good pic of me but that's what happens with little sleep!

His first stroller ride....yes I know his head is off to the side. It would not stay upright!

Chilling in his carseat

Well, I think Tony and I are now settling into the parent routine. I'm actually feeling like a mommy now that Riley is home from the hospital. We sure love the little guy and are enjoying our time off with him. It has been a busy week. Since, he's been home we have not had one day where we have stayed at home. Riley had his first pediatrician's appointment on Wednesday which went well. Riley is almost up to his birth weight which is good. Thursday Tony, grandma and grandpa Marchelli, and I went to In N Out, Baby's R Us, and Target with Riley for his first outing. We had to pick up some more baby supplies. Riley did awesome. He slept almost the whole entire time. He woke up right before we went into Target because it was time for a diaper change an a bottle. He was awake for a while in Target but it was to look around. He didn't fuss at all! Yesterday was his first plastic surgeon's appointment. We drove all the way to Mesa (about an hour away from our house) to have him seen. The plastic surgeon started the taping process which prepares him for the NAM device. It was a very short visit but we got the number to the orthodontist who will fit and put in the NAM device and the surgeon instructed Tony and I how to tape. We have called the orthodontist a few times an are waiting for a call back so we can get an appointment with her. Mommy also gave Riley his first bath. Tony and I bought a bathing tub for him. I thought I could just tear away the packaging and throw it in the bathtub but it needed some assembly. Seems how Riley peed all over himself and me, I wanted to get him bathed and back into some fresh clothes asap as he was getting cold so I bathed him by myself in the sink. Not a good idea. Babies are slipperly little suckers. I did fine but will not do it again. Not worth the risk of dropping him. And....Riley was read his first story which was 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. Grandma Marchelli bought him this book along with a book with a bunch of disney stories in them. Enjoy the pics I posted above!

We are home....finally!!

I'm sorry I'm getting behind on my blog. I had no idea how tired I would be...even with the baby still in the hospital. Finally after a very long 10 days in the nursery, Riley was finally discharged yesterday. Riley had a hard time breathing, then became jaundiced, and then feeding had been an issue with him which is normal for bilateral cleft lip and palate babies. We are using a special bottle called a Haberman feeder or special needs feeder. I'm pumping breast milk and using these feeders to bottle feed Riley. I did try to breast feed but he was not able to latch on which I was not surprised about but I figured I would at least give it a shot. Tony and I each had to make sure we could feed him before he could be discharged home. He had a feeding tube in for the majority of the time but got that taken out a few days before discharge to make sure he could eat without it. Feeding continues to be a struggle.....he does good for the first half but the second half we have to help him out by squeezing the nipple to help get the milk out.

It was a very emotinoal experience not being able to take my baby home for the hospital. However, he needed to be there and he was getting very excellent care. It was exhausting going back and forth going to the hospital twice a day for feedings but I praised every minute I got to spend with him as we only got to see him about 2 hours a day. Not to mention trying to recover from childbirth and getting our last minute emergency supplies to get the house ready since we thought we had 3 more weeks. Thankfully, both sets of parents have made it down so now we have help which is good.

Riley did great his first night home. I got up with him at 230 but he did not want to go to sleep which is unusual. He likes to fall asleep while we are feeding him which also has been a challenge. Tony got up with him around 4 am and then he slept until about 8. He had his first pediatrician appointment today who will start the referral process for our team of experts who will be on board to fix Riley up including the plastic surgeon who wants to see Riley asap. I'm looking forward getting the process going but a little nervous. It is a lot of stuff to think about. I'm so thankful I married the man that I did as his support has kept me strong. We have kept our communication open as this is not an easy experience to go through. I will post pictures soon. I need to find the memory card to the camera so I can post some :)

Thanks to all of you for your support and prayers.

Riley is here

I apologize for this long awaited blog. As most of you have heard by now, Tony and I got a little surprise on Saturday, Oct 2. I woke up to go to the bathroom at around 4:30 and realized that there was too much fluid coming out just to be going pee. I immediately woke Tony up to tell him I thought my water had broken. He told me to get back to the toilet to make sure it wasn't urine. Afterall, I wasn't due for another 3 weeks and had just met with the ob a few days before that who was pretty sure I wouldn't be going into labor anytime soon. I was only 2 cm dialated and -3 and only having a few Braxton Hicks Contractions. So I went back and sat down but fluid kept coming out. I told Tony that my water had definitely broken and we needed to go to the hospital. I asked him to grab a bag but he said that he figured they would send me home and put me on bedrest.....he later admitted he was in denial and in shock. We got to the hospital and I was soaked. I was polite enough to bring my own towel to sit on. I did it mainly to not get my seat in the Jeep all wet but I was a polite patient and put it down on the wheelchair. We went through the ER entrance as this entrance was the only one unlocked and had a friend check us in. I was immediately wheeled up to labor and delivery and got checked in. We got settled in and I was started on petocin by 7 that morning as I wasn't having any contractions. Because Riley was going to be considered "premie" by a few days and I went into natural labor, I tried for a vaginal delivery. No, I did not chicken out of the c-section. I wanted to have a c-section only if I did not go into natural labor and I was 39 weeks.
Anways, I got my epidural an hour or so after the petocin started. I was not in a whole lot of pain, but I knew ahead of time that I was never going to try to give birth without pain meds and I knew that the contractions were just going to get worse. I looove epidurals. I labored for 19 hours without feeling any pain at all. I was dead wait and could not move at all from the waist down so it was entertaining watching the nurses try to move me around. Finally at around 11, the nurse informed me it was time to push. A half hour later, our beautiful baby boy was born at 11:32 pm weighing in at 5 lbs 13 oz and 19 inches long.Here are some pics:

A good view of his bilateral cleft lip and palatte

In the scale

My first few moments with my son
Our first family photo


Soon after Riley was born, he had to be taken to the nursary as he was having difficulties breathing. He was breathing very fast as he had a lot of fluid left in his lungs. He was first put on a nasal cannula but he didn't like it and it the nurses were worried about it hurting his cleft lip so they moved him to a hood. He was weaned off that about 2 days later.
After his breathing issues became under control, he became jaundice and was put on the bilirubin blanket and also put under lights.

Just yesterday he was discharged off of everything but is feeding tube. Feeding is a major issue with bilateral cleft lip and palatte babies. He is doing better and finally was able to use the haberman feeder the day before yesterday for the first time. We have met with a speech therapist yesterday who worked with Tony with feeding and will work with me as well just to make sure we are both picking up the pointers he is giving us. He's been seen everyday by a neonatologist as well as our pediatrician. We are getting such great care.

As for us, we have been scrambling to get our house ready. The nursary was just about done but there was still a lot of basics we needed. My shower was supposed to be the 5th of October but we cancelled it. We may have it at a later time or have a meet and greet when Riley is able to come home. It has been very hard for me to leave him at the hospital but Tony and I both know he is where he needs to be right now. He's getting excellent care and hoping that he won't have to be discharged with a feeding tube.

I am recovering nicely but it has been very draining. Its been both very physically and emotionally exhausting with Riley still being in the hospital and going back and forth. Tony and I are adjusting well to Riley's cleft lip and palatte and it really hasn't bothered us much at all. I think being prepared made a world of difference. We know that in 4 months he will have his first surgery and his lip will be fixed. We still think he is a beautiful baby and his cleft lip and palatte is just how Riley is. We love him more than I thought we could love anything.

San Diego Trip....last vaca before baby and Riley update :)

So Tony and I have been trying to plan a trip to San Diego for months to see his brother and sister-in-law. We finally were able to go this past weekend although we weren't able to see our sister-in-law :(. It was hard trying to coordinate a time for Tony and I to have a Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off in a row. I'm so glad we did.

Last Thursday before we left, I had a Drs. appt. I have been having contractions and feeling a lot of pelvic pressure so the dr checked me even though they usually start checking at 36 weeks. I was 1-2 cm dialated and 30 % effaced. I was surprised that I had already started to dialate but thats a good sign. I went again for my start of weekly appointments and I'm a full 2 cm dialated and still 30% effaced. Its exciting to think that I'm starting the process.

Going back to the vacation, we went out for yummy pizza on Friday night and played video games. Saturday, Tony's brother took us to the USS Midway. For those of you who don't know, the USS Midway is an aircraft carrier that was launched right after World War II and recently decomissioned in 1992. I also had no idea how big an aircraft carrier is. I've seen them on tv but nothing compares to seeing one in person. Its like a floating city. We spent 4 hours on that thing and went up and down tons of stairs. I was tired later that night but had a great time. Here are a few pics.

Before getting onto the Midway. You can see 3 other carriers in the background that are currently being used by our Navy


Not a great pic of me but you can see how big I've gotten

Inside the hanger area. Gives you an idea of the size. It also has many compartments below. Yes, I went up and down several of those little tiny stairs.

Later that night, we went out (or I should say the guys) had sushi. I had something that was not sushi :) Ick but Tony really enjoyed it.

Us at the Sushi restaurant.

After Sushi we went to a fancy dessert place for some really yummy cake. The next day, Sunday, we took Enzo to the dog beach along with Tim and his dog Topo. He behaved himself for the most part.

Tony with Enzo and Topo.

I wish our trip wasn't so short but I'm glad we got to go. We had such a blast!

33 1/2 weeks

I was laying in bed Monday night in disbelief to how close Riley's birth really is. I'm absolutely miserable and hate being pregnant (minus when he moves...that part is amazing). I can't breathe, can't sleep, I'm hormornal (thought that went away after the first few months but its back), and can never get comfortable. I wish I could see my toes and move around in bed without something hurting and bend over. I can bend over but it takes a lot of effort and can't breathe. Tony was awesome and trimmed and painted my toenails which was a miracle. Tony works as an ER nurse so he's exposed to a lot of gross stuff. He can handle being pooped, peed on, and doesn't mind blood but he HATES feet. Feet are his downfall. He doesn't' even like my feet which are small and I like to think are cute. That's true love right there. And I think I've started the nesting phase. I have the strongest urge to scrub our grout. If you've seen my house or pictures of it there is A LOT of tile and would take forever and a day. But I keep staring at the grout thinking that it needs to be cleaned. I haven't actually done it yet but I know its going to bother me until I do something. I am splurging and having a maid service come in to clean right before Riley is born. Its nice because in Arizona you can find great deals on housecleaners and they clean everything.

My department at work threw me a very nice baby shower. I felt so spoiled by everything Riley got (including our stroller/carseat travel system). I keep telling Riley that hes already spoiled and not even born yet. A friend of mine is throwing me a baby shower on Oct 5th so friends and family can come. Its so nice to feel all the support and love we have received over the last few months with Riley. We are so excited and so blessed to all of our friends and family.

Tony and I headed over to see his older brother in San Diego in 2 weeks and we are very excited. I realized this will be our last vacation until Riley is born and weird to think whenever we travel, we will have another person with us. I'm looking forward to our trip and will definitely take some pics. I know I haven't taken any belly pics in a while but I'll try and get some on here soon.

I had my 2 week check up today. Nothing new to report. Riley sounded good and I am healthy as a horse. I was a little concerned because I actually lost a 1/2 pound....and no I did not do this on purpose. In fact, I'm' feeding Riley quite well. This kid is going to come out speaking Spanish with has much mexican food I have been eating. And I'm having a thing with stouffers mac and cheese. My Dr. assured me that this is nothing to be alarmed about so I'm' not going to worry for now.

Frustrated

So I could not sleep in this morning. I'm feeling very frustrated by people right now. This blog is not directed at any particular person but geared more towards conversations that I've had with various people (including strangers). So if you read this and feel offended, please don't. This is not intended to put anyone down but I just need to vent.

I feel sad that we live in a place with people who are so judgemental and hypocritical of others. I'm going to use the medical field as a basis for this blog because this is an area where I am passionate about. For example, I've recently decided to have a c-section. For those of you who have been talking with me this has not been an easy decision. I really wanted to have a vaginal birth. However, with much research and talking with people (including my medical team) Tony and I have reached the decision to have a C-section. And no, my doctor did not recommend it and left the decision completely up to us. I feel that this is the best thing for me and the baby. Yes, I know the increased risks to me and the baby. But isn't there risks to everything we do? There are increased risk by putting my son through various surgery to fix his birth defect so does that mean I shouldn't fix his problem? Don't think so. I've heard comments about people saying that they don't have faith in our medical system because they've had some bad experiences. I've had some bad experiences with mechanices. Does that mean I'm not going to have my car fixed when there is something wrong with it because of those bad experiences? Certainly not. I'll go to a different mechanic or get a second opinon.

I wish I could tell you that our medical care system is great and that every doctor I work with is totally awesome. This isn't true. I disagree with some of our doctors on a daily basis. However, I see a lot of good that comes from good doctors and good medical teams on a daily basis. Funny how people say that they have lost faith in our healthcare system and are quick to judge others making their medical decisions, but when they get sick they go get help from the "people they've lost faith in". Stop blaming others and take responsibility for your decisions whether its to get a c-section or run for president. People are going to find good and bad in everything they do. If you disagree with something, get a second opinion and do research (and not at some stupid .com website, learn to look for reliable resources). Talk to others who have gone through similar experiences but don't just rely on those people's opinions to point you in the right direction.

I can't tell you how many times people judged me for getting the genetic testing done. Many are against genetic testing because of false positives and the fact that people make "bad" decisions if something shows up. If Riley's condition would have shown up on the genetic screen (cleft and lip palattes don't specifically raise your numbers) would I have aborted him or change my course of my pregnancy in anyway? Absolutely not. Would I have aborted my child if I knew he would have a very poor quality of life and wouldn't live past the age of one? Maybe. I'm glad I had the testing done and agreed for another ultrasound. It certainly did not change our course of action but now Tony and I are prepared and will be able to handle Riley's condition to the fullest of our ability. I don't see the harm in knowing ahead of time about his condition. One thing I learned from this experience is you can't judge someone's situation/decisions unless you've been through it yourself and you have as much reliable knowledge on the issue to make an informed decision.

I'm not perfect and I am guilty of trying to argue and judge on points that I'm no educated on. Politics is a good example. I seemed to have opinions on various topics but no evidence to back that up. I've sinced stopped doing this for the most part (partially because Tony and my dad would get so frustrated with me) and the fact that I realized I was making decisions and judging others when I didn't have all the facts. This isn't right. Just because I disagree with something doesn't mean I need to judge others. Do I agree with giving birth at home or not treating your ailments because of religious purposes?? Absolutely not but I'm learning to respect people's decisions and try to educate myself on why people make these decisions. As long as they are educated in their decisions and feel that this is the best thing for them, then I can respect their reasonings.

Anyways, I have no idea if this blog makes any sense to people but just thought I'd vent for a little while :)

Drs appt update

Today was a bit more eventful than that I thought it would be. I got to ak a lot of questions about what having a c-section is like and discussed the bit of cramping I'd been having. Cramping I guess is normal which is good as I haven't had any other symptoms of prelabor and the contractions I have been having are very sporatic. No bed rest for me which is good. We are planning my c-section around the 22nd of October in which I'll be 39 1/2 weeks. We should know for sure the date within the next appt or 2. And yes, I have decided on a C-section for many reasons. I don't want to hear about how labor is such an amazing experience blah blah blah. I'm not into the whole natural crap and when there is something wrong with your child you want that baby out as soon as possible. I'm already going to be freaked out enough by being a patient in the hospital (for those of you who know me I can't even get my blood drawn without passing out). I don't want to go through hours of labor stressed out if my baby is okay or not. No thank you so a c-section it is. I'm very excited for him to come and am looking forward to meeting him. I know we have a long road ahead of us but the last few weeks I've really come to terms with how our baby is going to look and what we need to do to fix it. Thank you for all your support!

9 1/2 more weeks...

It just hit me that I only have 9 1/2 weeks until Riley comes into this world. Tony and I are both ecstatic but both of us are very nervous. We are just keeping our fingers crossed and praying that there is nothing else wrong with our little boy. I know that when I look at Riley for the first time, it will be the happiest moment but I'm still nervous to see how bad his cleft will be. Due to him not having a palate, I am a bit nervous about him being able to feed but we are doing our best not to worry. We are having a lot more positive days that negative ones at this point and feel we are dealing with things very well.

As for me, I am soooo uncomfortable. Being short is hard while pregnant. I still look down at my stomach in amazement everyday and think to myself the human body is absolutely amazing. I have a lot of shortness of breath and get up every 3 hours to pee. Plus, I keep wanting to sleep on my back or stomach since my hips get sore from laying on my side. I switch sides everytime I wake up but its still not comfortable. I'm finding I'm getting tired again. I just got done working a 12 hour shift and have another one tomorrow. Hopefully I get some good rest tonight!!

The "Finished" Nursary and Riley Updates

Well, Tony and I (mostly Tony as I worked long hours over the weekend) have "finished"' the nursary. I have finished in quotes because the main things we wanted to get done are finished but we have some smaller things to add and we still need a dresser and a glider. I helped Tony with the painting and the bottom border. We tried to take off the car border at the top but it took Tony forever to take off just a few feet of it. Tony decided that he would cover it up with the border we bought so we'd have a double border. I was very afraid I must admit, but I thought it turned out really cute. The lettering and quote were a surprise. I came home from work and he put the top border on, put the quote and Riley's name up (which he didn't even tell me he ordered), and built the crib. It was such a nice surprise. Here's what Riley's room looks like now:

I'm really happy with how his room is turning out so far.

I had another ultrasound and an OB appointment on Tuesday. The ultrasound looked good according to my Dr. Riley's head is down and all of his measurements are good which means so far he's a heathy baby boy. I can't ever see well on those 2d ultrasounds. The tech showed me Riley's cleft but I still couldn't tell what I was looking at . Tony wasn't there for the ultrasound as he had a meeting at work but he made the drs appt. So he obviously didn't get to see Riley's cleft. It's still there though. Not that it would disappear but its so hard not to pray that it'll just magically disappear. I can wish but I know the reality is that it won't. Anyways, Riley and I are healthy so far. He's in the 44th % as far as his size which the doctor says is just fine. I'll see the ob again in 2 weeks and I think I get at least one more ultrasound.

Today we had our appt with the plastic surgeon. He's a nice guy but likes to interrupt. Being in an environment where Tony and I work with doctors on a daily basis we are aware that different types of doctors are like different species. So, while that aspect annoyed us he defin itely has his patients at heart. We really didn't learn much new information. Tony and I have both read so much that a lot of the information we are getting is repeat. Which is fine. He knows his information really well. We are limited in our choices of doctors anyways as there are only 4 surgeons that can handle Riley's case and 2 are close to retirement. We are happy with who we picked out and don't feel that we need to seek any further assistance. He is very familiar with the NAM device and seems to use it a lot which is what we wanted. Granted we won't know if Riley is a candidate for it until he is born but this is a device we are hoping we can use. He says he starts taping the cleft down almost immediately after birth and wants us to send him pictures as soon as he is born so we can find out what exactly what we are in for. The bad news is, is that there is only one pediatric orthodontist in the whole entire state that can adjust the NAM....thankfully she is located in downtown Phoenix. The NAM is adjust usually once a week so we have to make the hour + drive to have it adjusted weekly for the first 4 or so months of his life but we are more than happy to do it. Our physician operates out of Thunderbird hospital which is great because its much closer than driving to Cardens or Phoenix Children's which is about an hour or so away as well. Not that we wouldn't drive him far to get surgery but the easier things are the better. I've been a little emotional today as it is always hard to hear that your baby will have to have several surgeries likely but I think Tony and I are doing pretty well. Please let me know if anyone has any questions. I'll be more than happy to answer them.

Starting The Nursery

Saturday Tony and I painted Riley's Nursery. The brown you''ll see in the pictures is the original color that covered the walls and the green is new. We are putting a wallpaper border where the brown and green meet up that has safary animals on it. The top border that has cars on it is going to be removed. Riley's crib and matress came this week and we are looking forward to putting these things together. We are happy with how the color turned out. Here are some pics:

Before.....

Getting ready to paint

Tony hard at work

After...still need to remove the top border and that valace....Not bad for neither of us ever painting a room!!

In other news, Tony called and made an appointment with the plastic surgeon I spoke with for next Wednesday. I'm looking forward to this but am a little nervous. A rep from Absent 8 called on Monday and told me that my claim for FMLA was filed as a short term disability....I don't qualify because I haven't been full time for a year. Duh! I knew that. I went to go file for FMLA only but the lady told me I needed to wait until about a week before the baby is born. How annoying!! Oh well. We are starting to get things moving which is making everything a touch bit easier.

More Updates

It's been a very busy week. I worked Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, and today. TGIF! I am tired. Tuesday and Thursday were busy days despite having them off. Tuesday Tony and I decided to meet with our insurance rep at the hospital we work for. We wanted to start the process for notifying the insurance company ahead of time regarding Riley. We want to be prepared for what things are going to cost and how we need to make sure that our insurance will cover as much of his care as possible. The insurance rep gave us the phone number to absent 8 so I could start my FMLA claim (so I can have my 10 weeks off and be protected) and a number to call to get assigned a case manager through our insurance to make sure we stay within our network of doctors and to make sure his treatment is covered. Then, we went and registered at Target and Baby's R Us. Its actually a lot more work than I thought but we had a great time picking out things for him. We bought his wallpaper border which has safari animals on it and went to Home Depot to buy paint. I will take pictures as we begin our work. We want to start paining tomorrow hopefully.



Thursday we had another OB appointment and then met with the neonatologist right afterwards. My OB appointment went well. My glucose test came back good so I don't have gestational diabetes. I had to have another blood draw to be tested for anemia and syphillus (I guess the syphillus is a state requirement). Weird but ok. The neonatologst is a very nice guy. He met us at my OBs office and really took the time to sit down and explain who he was and what to expect when Riley's born. His name is Dr. Schwer (spelling?) and he's been in AZ for 30 or so years. He informed Tony and I that Riley should be safe to be delivered at the hospital where Tony and I work at (Del Webb). He said that he or one of his colleagues will be at Riley's birth to make sure Riley is well checked out to make sure he has no other complications. He assumes there won't be but says its always good to be prepared. Assuming everything is normal and Riley feeds okay, he will be able to discharge home with me. Unfortunately, breat feeding will most likely not be an option for me but I can still pump and feed him breat milk that way. He also gave us a time line of what to expect. He says some of the things on the timeline are happening even sooner. Our timeline is as follows:



birth-2 weeks: Plastic Surgen Obturator option (a device that fits in the hole on the roof the mouth such as the NAM), nursery social services, craniofacial Team/Feeding Specialist)



2-10 weeks: Same as above plus ear, nose and throat (ENT) services and audiology services, genetic visit (if Riley is suspected to have a genetic disorder which at this point there is none suspected)



3-12 months: Lip repair and everything above in the last 2 sections



12-18 months Palate repair, 1st dental visits, speech and language services, social services/psychology services and continued craniofacial team/feeding specialists may be needed



4-6 years P-Flap Palatal Lip Repair and orthodontics



6-9 years Bone graft and Rapid Palate Expander and active dental care



9-11 years same as above



11-18 years final revisions



18-21 years treatment hopefully complete and retainers



Keep in mind that this is just a rough timeline and Riley may not need everything or may need more than what is on this timeline. When we meet with a plastic surgeon we will get a better idea of what to expect as far as the surgery timeline goes. Very informative and the man even gave us his cell phone number! What are the chances of that?!? We feel very blessed to have such good doctors on board. He also provided us the names of 2 plastic surgeons whom are in the Banner Network (the company we work for) who he recommends.



As I was sitting down to right this, the plastic surgeon actually called.....on a Friday night at 6 pm. Can you believe that?!? I was absolutely shocked but very pleased with what he had to say. He specializes in palate and lip repairs and has been practicing medicene/surgery since 1984. Very very nice man. He is familiar with the NAM device and does use it which is something Tony and I want to inquire about. He once to meet with us in the next couple of weeks. He says he has nurses that can come help us with feedings and says for us to take pictures as soon as Riley's born to get a better idea of what he will need. Tony and I are to call this secretary on Monday and will send us brochures and set up an appointmet with him so we can meet. I will post an update on that once this happens.



I know I am using some acronyms that you may or may not understand what it is. Please do not hesitate to ask me what things are. Tony and I found a really good blog (cleftstories.com) that is an excellent resource to get a better understanding of what Riley will be going through. Its a mom writing about her baby (now 6 or 7) who was born with a complete bilateral cleft and lip palate. Please check it out or at least look at pictures if you plan of seeing Riley during his first few months. I say this because the pictures a bit shocking and I want people to be prepared.

Thank God for Vacations!

I could not have asked for a better time for a vacation back home to see our families. Tony and I were surrounded with nothing but love and support from our families which is helping us through this difficult time. We got a chance to clear our heads and got to enjoy our time. We left last Wednesday and got back late last night. We flew to Seattle last Wednesday where my parents met us with a car my dad let us borrow and then drove to Tony's parents house in Priest River. We visited the first night and just relaxed in the nice cool weather which was a huge relief! It felt good to be on the cooler side :) Thursday night we went to our favorite steak place, Wolflodge but was disappointed. They raised the prices and the steaks weren't seasoned as well as they normally are but it was still okay.

Me and Tony enjoying a steak dinner....and Riley too!

The next day we went and into Spokane and went to Baby's R Us to look at baby stuff with Tony's parents so they could see some of the stuff we picked out. Tony's baby brother Matthew and girlfriend Sara came along so it was a wonderful day. Got to enjoy Taco Time and a nice ig huckleberry ice cream cone....I've probably gained a few unnecessary pounds on this trip but can't pass up my favorite foods only found up there. We had a picnic the next day and went to the highschool in Priest River (where Tony and I met) so him and his brothers could fly their remote control planes.

Here's me standing outside waiting for the guys to finish flying their planes. I am almost 26 weeks in this picture. Afterwards we enjoyed a delicious BBQ. Tony and I relaxed and made cookies and ate a cake with homemade frosting that Tony's dad made. It was fantastic. Tony taught me how to play crochet (however its spelled but got my but kicked). We also got to see Tony's other little brother, his wife, and met our nephew for the first time. Unfortunately, we had to leave the next day but I was looking forward to seeing my parents.

We arrived at my parents house and had some family stop by. Just visited and hung out. The view from my parents place is amazing....right on a river. It was awesome and the guys had a blas hitting golf balls into the water. We tried to fish but caught nothing. The next day we had a BBQ and more family stopped by. Then had to leave the next evening. Here is a pic from my parents place.

I was sad to come home but was thankful we got a vacation at all as we were able to arrange it without taking any PTO from work.

In Riley news, Tony and I have an OB appt next Thursday and will be meeting with the neonatologist for the first time right after our OB appt. His office was kind enough to have him meet us at our OB so we did not have to drive to his office. I will post more information as soon as I know it. I'm getting bigger and bigger everyday and Riley is very active.

Riley update

I don''t have a whole lot of news. I had my first ob appointment since we found out about our little man. Our ob says obstetrical wise there should not be a problem delivering at our hospital but would like us to talk with our neonatologist just to make sure he feels its safe as we are low risk for any other problems for Riley. However, I still am nervous since we were low risk for having a bilateral cleft lip and look what happened. I had my glucose screening today and just as long as it comes back negative everything should go as expected. I plan on sitting down with Tony within the next few days to see when a good time would be to schedule our appt with the neonatologist. We want to get things moving so we can further prepare ourselves for what is happening. Tony has found a wonderful blog:cleftstories.com. Its about a little girl born with the same thing Riley has-bilateral cleft lip and palet. It was awesome to read this blog and I would recommend it for those of you who want to get an idea of our road ahead. It's not an "easy" fix and we do have a lot of things to be concerned about. This blog solidified my feelings and made us feel like we aren't alone. In many countries, babies born like this are recommended to be aborted. I do believe in abortion but only for severe cases. This is not something we want to deal with but again, Riley should hopefully be a normal litle boy with a facial deformity that can and will be fixed.

As for us, emotionally we have our ups and downs. I wish I could say that I'm over crying and I'm over the anger but I'm not and don't think I'll ever be "over" it. We are, however, coming to the point of acceptance and learning that life still goes on. I love our little man so much already and no one wants to see someone they love suffer, be in pain, or be viewed as "different". Yes, Riley is going to look "different"' at birth. Yes, it will be a little scary meeting him and seeing his face for the first time. I'm learning that its okay to be scared. At the end of the day, Riley has 2 parents that love him more than anything and will give him the best care posible. Everyday is a struggle and I have to find my inner strength everyday to deal. Tony has been awesome at communicating his feelings and giving me update on what he has learned. He has been a big supporter and I coudn't do this without him. Also, to all of our friends and family who will love Riley regardless of how he comes out.

In happier news, we leave tomorrow for our vacation and we are very excited to be able to spend time with family right now. I will post pics and updates when we get back. Please feel free to ask me any questions you have on your mind. To me, knowledge is power.

What It Feels Like To Be Told Your Baby Has A Birth Defect

Today I was excited for our follow up ultrasound. We got to see our baby again and it was just to make sure everything looked normal. Tony and I both had a bounce in our step and had conversations of what our baby would look like at 24 weeks. And it's always nice to confirm what the gender yes....and yes it is no doubt a boy. As we were going through everything, I took a deep breath and smiled when everything looked normal. The baby was moving around and everything seemed to be okay. But then we looked at his face. The ultrasound tech announced that our baby as a cleft lip and palette. Not only a cleft lip and palette but a bilateral one which is the more severe of the palettes. Tony and I both sat there and then my eyes filled with tears when I realized that something was wrong with our baby. You always hear of these things happening and we see things everyday in our job but never think it will happen to you.

Yes I know its just a cleft palette and yes I know it can be fixed. But it is never easy when your told your baby may need multiple surgeries after birth. I know its not nearly as bad as a baby having down syndrome or some other bad defect but its still not easy. We were immediately sent in to the doctor on staff (we were sent out for our second ultrasound). A nice guy who basically told us what our next plan of action will be We will be meeting with a neonatologist (a doctor that works with high risk babies after they are born). After this, we will be referred to plastic surgeons and start putting together a plan for after Riley is born. He will likely need to be fitted for some type of prostetic to help him feed until his surgeries are complete.

Let me say it is a blessing that I have such an amazing husband. He sat next to me while I cried and held my hand the entire time we talked with the doctor. I am so grateful for him and the support I've been getting so far today. I know everything will be okay in the end but it's still hard. I will keep everyone posted.

Almost 24 weeks!!

I haven't taken any pics this week but I will soon. We leave a week from this Wednesday to head up north and I promise to post some pics when we get back.

We had another Drs appointment yesterday. We started talking about a birth plan and of course my crazy fears of any type of birth plan. I may work in a hospital and have no problems all sorts of crazy thing. I DO NOT make a good patient. At all. My palms get all sweaty and I have to turn my head away just when I have blood drawn. I'm really trying to invent a way in which I can just have the baby magically appear but have not had any successful ideas. Any suggestions would be appreciated :) Baby's heartbeat sounds good and the doctor says I am measuring well. He does want to send me out for a higher level ultrasound since the first one we had was not great and the doctor says it was hard to get the measurements they needed of the organs. We do that Wednesday. I'm actually kind of excited I keep hearing all these horror stories of how people they are told are having one thing and they end up with the opposite. So I'm glad that we get another ultrasound just to make sure we are having a boy :)

Happy B-day To Me!!

Well my 28th birthday is on Monday. We celebrated last Tuesday at Benihana---excellent food if you haven't been there and a wonderful show. We always leave stuffed and satisfied. Great restaurant to try if you like tempiyaki (however its spelled).

Also, I am 21 weeks and I am including a belly pic. It just sort of popped out within the last week. I'm feeling great and have my energy back which is nice. Tony and I have decided on a name----Riley Lawrence Marchelli. Neither of us know anybody by that name and its not terribly common which I like. Let me know what you think!!

Baby updat!e

Here I am at 18 weeks! This was taken last week so now I'm 19 1/2. I started feeling movement last Monday. It feels like I'm popping a bag of popcorn in my stomach. I'm finally starting to look pregnant. I can't fit into any of my shorts so these are maternity shorts. So much for the 20 lbs but its worth every pound!!.

We had our ultra sound today and Tony and I found out that we are having a boy. Tony was a little bummed but he's still very happy and excited. The ultrasound tech says everything looks normal. We did the genetic testing and haven't had the doctor call so that means everything either turned out well or haven't had the results yet. I have a feeling everything is just fine and even if it isn't I know there are a lot of false positives and further testing if we felt the need.

As for me, I am feeling a lot more energy but still don't have a lot of motivation. I was hoping to start working out again but it just hasn't happened yet. I'm hoping with summer coming I will start swimming again since I love the water and we have a swimming pool. I'm not nervous about the actual baby part but I don't like the idea of giving birth. And don't even try and tell me what a beautiful process it is. I've spent a lot of time on our labor and delivery unit and the sounds are horrifying. I can't even get an iv without freaking out so that part scares me. Luckally I have a great doctor who I fel comfortable with so that helps a little.

No names have been picked out yet but I think our nursery theme will be safari/jungle animals. His middle name will be Lawrence to carry down the Marchelli family decision. Tony and I get to each pick 5 names and then we will pick out a name from there! I'll let you know what we decide.

Meet Burt

Yes, the time has come. Its getting hot again and that means the scorpions are out full force. This is Bob. He is sitting in our driveway in this picture. He is about 3 times the size of the scorpions we normally see. Our friend Joe insisted we take him across the street and set him free and Tony and I refused. I didn't want him crawling his way back and into our house. I killed Bob's cousin in our house last night and he wasn't that big. I am brave enough to kill them by myself but I would have flipped if I would have seen Bob in our house. He is ginormous. Bob was only with us for a short time. Enough time to take a few pictures and then Tony smashed him with a mallet. He doesn't look that big in this picture but he was huge!!

In other news:
Our next doctors appointment is next Tuesday. We are hoping to find out the sex of the baby. I'm also starting to actually look pregnant instead of fat. My belly button has not poked out yet but I'm looking more and more round. I will post an update and a pic of me at after our appointment next week!!

Review of the IPad

I am an avid reader. It is one of my favorite things to do so I figured I would buy a Kindle. But then the Ipad came out. After talking to one of my co-workers who could not say anything bad about it, Tony and I decided to check it out. It's freaking awesome. Yesterday, Tony bought me an Ipad for a really early birthday present. We both were too excited to wait for my birthday.

Of course I had to play with it for hours. I could sit comfortably in our recliner and surf the read and play computer games if I so choose. I even downloaded Pride and Prejudice for free as Amazon offers a lot of free classics. I'm making myself read some of the books that I should have read a long time ago.

Anyways, Tony had an Iphone and I hate the touch screen. I couldn't text on it easily and I felt frustrated that I would never "touch" it right to get it to work properly. That was one of the reasons I was wondering if I would even like the Ipad but the touch screen on it is amazing. Very easy to use and you have the option of buying a keyboard and a mouse if you get desperate. The screen is amazing. Hardly any glare and you can read with it in the dark. No more keeping each other awake with our nightlights if we want to read. Purchasing books is not that expensive. In fact, I was impressed by the array of free classics that were available and book prices are well priced. Definitely cheaper than buying a hardcover book from even a place like Walmart. The apps and games are also well priced. Very affordable. I haven't downloaded pictures onto it yet but the graphics on it are amazing and I've seen pics downloaded on the Ipads at the store.

I haven't really found anything I don't like about it yet although the internet can be a little slow on it. It's still fairly speedy and I have no other complaints.

Things on my mind lately

I am trying really hard not to make this whole blog about the baby eventhough its hard because of how super excited we are. Here are some thoughts on things I've read lately or just thoughts in general with life.

1. Jen-I agree with you stance on the healthcare bill. I personally think it is a bad idea not to carry health insurance. I come in contact with people on a daily basis in my job who need help with finances and their hospital bills on all age spectrums. I hear the words "I've been healthy all my life...I never saw this coming all the time". And the fact that I see patients in the hospital who have hospital bills in the 6 digit figures all the time. This scares the crap out of me. Needing a simple procedure such as an appendectomy (removing the appendix) can cost about $15,000. Simply getting appendicitis and not having insurance can put a person into debt so fast and I would never want to risk that. However, I do agree that if you don't want to buy inurance then you shouldn't have to. This country was based on having the freedom to make choices and choosing to have healthcare is a big part of that. I just think its a bad idea not to have it.

2. Hospice patients are for people who are DYING. These patients are not supposed to be brought to the hospital when something is wrong. They are supposed to be put on comfort measures so they can die in dignity....not to keep prolonging their lives and making the patient suffer. Due to the nature of my job, I cannot talk about specific stories or details so don't ask. But this is something I am becoming increasingly irritated at.

3. Men Who Stare At Goats is a great movie. Its funny and not like the other movie story lines. And it has a great case. Check it out if you haven't seen it.

4. The IPad looks freaking awesome. As someone who likes to travel, I think this wonderful portable device is something I want to investigate buying. Who wants to buy a Kindle when you can spend $100 more and get a device that can do many different thing. Looooove new technology.

5. Updates: I'm gaining weight like crazy, Tony has been awesome and has helped me so much around the house, and I cannot apparently make a sandwhich with miracle whip on it as the smell makes me puke. Baby and I are doing great but I still have no energy at all.

Update on baby

Tony and I went to the doctor yesterday to meet our new ob and to get our first ultrasound. It was amazing. The picture below is sideways......why I don't know and I can't seem to get it to flip. As of yesterday, we are 8 weeks and 4 days. The heartbeat was about 170 beats a minute and we got to hear it. I cried and Tony was just trying to figure out if it sounded okay. The ultrasound technician said that everything looked completely normal. If the picture was rotated to the right it would be right side up but you can start to see little arms and legs starting to form. It is the most amazing thing to hear your baby's heartbeat for the first time. My next visit is at the end of next month. The doctor told us they will try and hear the heartbeat with the doppler. The doc says if you can hear the heartbeat with the doppler the chances of miscarriage drop to about 1%. So far so good. We really like our doctor. He's got a great sense of humor and answers questions really clearly. He told me not to worry about things I can't control and really put my mind at ease about things I had been reading. By the way, I do not recommend What to Expect When You're Expecting. There's a few things I have found that totally conflict with what the doctor and all my other pregnant or have been pregnant friends have told me. I'm getting less and less paranoid everyday about something going wrong. I've gained 7 pounds already (yes I cried but I can't loose weight right now so I'll get over it). I still gag when I smell something bad and threw up the other day because our damn lab puppy of 6 months who is supposed to be potty trained, pooped in his crate. Thank God I made it next door to my parents to see if mom could get the dog and the crate outside as I kept throwing up everywhere. I'm still really tired and even fell asleep during a great movie a few weeks ago which has only happened one other time in my life....while watching Matrix 3 which was one of the most boring movies I've seen because I didn't understand what was going one. I'm trying to take naps when I can as I'm waking up almost every 2 hours to pee or because I can't stay asleep. Tony is excited and yesterday really confired for the both of us that we are indeed pregnant. We are doing wonderfully and I'm embracing every good and bad symptom of pregnancy as I am so grateful to get to experience this.

And no, I am not going to blog about the health care bill. I know most of you know how I stand and I'm just going to leave it at that ;)

Exhaustion

I alway thought that if I were to get pregnant, I would be the one throwing up all over the place. I had a few weeks were I'm nauseated and have only thrown up a handful of times. Once in a while I will get wave of nausea but it goes away fairly quickly.

I can say that my exhaustion is getting worse. I'm getting up every hour to pee (I didn't know it started quite this soon) and I have NO motivation. I'm usually a clean person. Slowly the house is becoming messier. Thank God Tony has been helping some around the house. Plus, I am working 36-40 hours a week at a fairly stressful job. Last night was an er shift. After 4:30 I am the only social worker for the whole entire hospital. I had six referrals on the floor which is A Lot. I was running between floors, getting paged constantly, and then had to run frantically down from the 4th floor back to the ER because we had a patient code (meaning they were brought into us in cardiac/pulmonary arrest) and I have to respond to codes.. I wish I could multiply myself at times like this but I can't. If anyone finds a way to clone people, let me know. I'll be the first in line. Its exhausting not pregnant but worse when you are!! Does it ever stop??

I'm not nearly as paranoid as I was at first about the cramping. My new paranoia: having a positive pregnancy test and finding on our first ultrasound that I have an empty sac. I didn't know this was possibe and I should probably just stay away from reading anything on the internet and only reading my What To Expect book. I so want to have my first ultrasound to make sure baby is alright but I have to wait until the 23. It's killing me.

By the way, if anyone knows of any additional reading that is helpful during pregnancy, please let me know. What To Expect is a great read but its always nice to have additional resources.

There's No Place Like Home

Hi everyone!

Well, I just arrived back from Rocky Point, Mexico which is only about 4 hours away from Phoenix. The resort we stay at is absolutely beautiful. Here is a pic of me standing out on the beach in front of our hotel.As you can see, its absolutely beautiful. We spent 3 nights there. However, there is nothing like coming home and being back in your own country. I love experiencing different cultures and traveling. If anything, it has made me appreciate the things I have and makes me remember how lucky I am to be born in this country. It's nice to come back to a place where people speak your language (although many people do speak English in Mexico) and you know when you order a cheeseburger, it will be a cheeseburger your eating. I ordered a cheeseburger in Africca one time.....I don't know what the heck it was but it did not taste anything like a cheeseburger.

I think that if a person gets the privilege to travel to another country then they should take advantage of that. Its a wonderful learning experience and its very interesting to see how other people live.

In more news:

Here is the proof I am pregnant.

Yes I know 4 pregnancy tests are a little extreme, but just wanted to make sure. I took another one 3 days later too :) I guess because I'm still so early its hard to believe that I am actually pregnant. Here is a picture of me at 5 1/2 weeks. Obviously you can't tell I am pregnant but I wanted to remember what I look like with all the weight I have recently lost so I can keep this picture in mind as my goal for post baby :)

My ob gyn practice that I have been going too is "dissolving". I have asked quite a few people left about the only ob gyn that is left at the practive and people tell me that the guy is a big jerk and not to go to him. So Tony and I are switching to a different practice and will have our first ultra sound on March 23. We do not want to wait that long but I also don't want to be stuck with a doctor that I can't stand for 9 months either. I did get my first set of labs back from my appointment with the medical tech and I am healthy as a horse. We are upset because they refused to check my hcg level to confirm my pregnancy and so we woud know exactly how far along we are so we are still going by what they are estimating right now I will be 6 weeks tomorrow. I am feeling very tired still. I have some cramping which scares me a bit but the triage nurse at my new practice says this is normal as long as there is no bleeding or spotting. So far so good.

We're Pregnant!!!

The time has finally come. Tony and I are expecting our first baby!! I took a pregnancy test last Wednesday and it was pregnant. I took 3 more that night just to make sure and one again Saturday and they are all positive.

My first doctors appointment was today. I met with the medical technician who calcuated my due date and discussed what my husband and I should be expecting throughout the pregnancy. I'm just a little over 5 weeks pregnant right now and will be due October 26th. We go in about two weeks to get our first ultrasound and should see the heartbeat if everything is healthy.

As for me, I'm feeling very happy but extremely tired. I am nauseaus and have some "morning sickness" although its kind of an all day thing. Tony is very happy. We are keeping optimistic but are also very aware of the fact that anything can happen. We are still very early on but we are relieved to know that I have responded to the Clomid.

I will keep everyone posted and post pictures as I get pleasently plump :)

Something Fun For A Change

Hey everyone-

Yes I know its been forever since I posted something. I just got done working 8 days in a row (which will never happen again). Instead of posting another depressing blog about how down and angry I feel I thought I would do something different. I thought it would be fun to list some of my newer favorites for books and movies (in no particular order).

Movies
1. Zombieland
-this movie is freaking hilarious. I love zombie movies! Woody Harrelson is quite funny.
2. Hangover
-From the moment I turned this movie on I could not stop laughing.
3. Angels and Demons
-I loved the book and I thought the movie followed it pretty well. I wish they could have expanded more on the antimatter but oh well.
4. Time Travelers Wife
-its a sappy romantic movie but I loved the book. Plus, I think Rachael McAdams has come along ways since Mean Girls (which is also a fantastic movie).

Books
1. Time Travelers Wife-
It was a little confusing to me since it jumps back and forth in time but it was well written
2. The Lost Symbol-
I think Dan Brown is a fantastic writer. His books are well written and always have an element of surprise to them. I am almost done with it
3. The Traveler
(thanks Adria)This book was different but very entertaining. I thought it had a 1983 feel to it but I liked it way better.


In other news:
My second round of clomid and progesterone are finished. I am in limbo waiting to see if I am pregnant or not. I could not come in day 21 to get my levelvs checked to see if I have ovulated because I was at work and they can't check it after day 21 for some weird reason. I will keep you posted.