Round 2!

Everyone around me is pregnant, getting pregnant, or has just given birth. Not everyone knows that Tony and I are having problems getting pregnant so when someone announces that they are pregnant, I swallow the knot in my throat and put on a fake smile. Don't get me wrong....I am happy for these people. I just get upset because I'm normally not a jelous person. I hate feeling so emotional or that I have to change the subject quickly when people talk about their babies. I'm working on getting better but right now I'm just trying to deal with the feelings that have overwhelmed me in a way I never thought possible. I look at Tony and feel a sense of brokenness (if thats even a word) because I can't give him what we both want so badly. And it kills me to know my parents are watching me go through something that was such an emotional toll on them. I don't feel pressured because I want to experience the whole birthing experience the way a normal woman is supposed to.

I just finished with the second round of Clomid and we are praying that it works. If anyone has some baby dust I would like some please.....a whole bunch of it :) I know this post is depressing but people keep asking me how I am doing. I figured blogging would be a good way to get it out instead of repeating these feelings over and over again.

The Flood Gates Have Opened

So we do get some rain here in Phoenix. We even get monsoons. But yesterday was the mother of all storms. Tony and I woke up yesterday morning with it pouring rain. It wasn't just a sprinkle here and there. It was the pouring down kind. Or as Forrest Gump describes "the big old fat rain". It would not stop. Around 6 or 7 pm Tony and I had to run an errand. I've never ever seen so much rain on the road. People were making wakes with their cars and trucks. Tony and I also started to get concerned because are pool literally filled up to the brim. In fact, as the winds came up the water started sloshing over the ide. We will have to find a way to drain part of it since its not good for a pool to flood over. Here are some pictures of our yard. Above is a picture of our back yard flooding. I felt so unmotivated yesterday. I only got dressed for about an hour so Tony and I could run to the pharmacy. I like rainy days down here. It gives you a break from the sun but that was a little too much rain for my liking.

Crate Training is a Croc!!!

I have been told by numerous people that crate training is an excellent way to potty train a dog. I am hear to tell you that this whole theory of crate training is a crock of you know what. With Enzo, this is how we have been trying to potty train him but he seems to think its cute to continue to poop and pee in his crate. I'm happy to say that he is getting much better and now sleeps through the whole entire night.

When he gets excited he whittles. A few weeks ago while I was trying to recover from being sick, I decided to take some cough syrup with codine. This puts me right to sleep. The puppy was taking a nap so I thought I should since I was falling asleep anyways. I woke up because Enzo got up quickly and ran to the door. I was trying to clear my haze when Enzo ran back to the carpet and started to pee. Then, he ran around the living room while peeing because he saw me get up and knew he was in trouble. I put him right outside and crawled along the living room floor following is stream of pee. Not a fun thing to do when your sinuses feel like they are going to explode. We seem to have better luck with Enzo when we lock him in the laundry room. He does not go to the bathroom as much so we've started to try that out.

In other news:

I was finally offered a full-time job. It's doing the same exact thign I've been doing now just get benefits and paid time off.

My body responded to the clomid as my blood tests showed that I ovulated. No pregnancy this month but its probably for the best since I've been taking cold medicene and cough syprup for about 3 weeks. Today is the first day where I actually am not coughing like crazy and have not taken any medication.

I passed my illness to Joe Joe and my dad....sorry guys :(

Updates

I realized I haven't blogged in a while....life has been crazy this past couple of weeks. I went from a house full of people to now sitting by myself. It's amazing how fast a house can empty out.
My back is healed nicely. I got my injection of Toridol from the doctor and after a few days of being sore, I am feeling so much better.....until yesterday when I woke up sick. Again!! I woke up and felt the heaviness in my chest that I get before I get a bad chest cold. Now I'm coughing, have the chills, and feel absoltely exhausted. Its just been one thing after another. It doesn't help that I work in a hospital filled with lots of nasty germs and December was a very stressful month.

I finished my first round of clomid so we shall see if it works. I start the progesterone in a few days which is supposed to help with keeping a pregnancy if one (hopefully) occurs. We are trying to remain optimistic at this time.

Tony had his wisdom teeth removed and has underestimated the amount of pain he would be in. He was only given novacaine as was his choice. We have a friend who is a dentist. He offered to refer tony to an oral surgeon but tony said no. Two were impacted and one of those were completely growing in sideways. That was tough to get out. I tried to explain how bad the pain could get but he thought h would be fine. Now he's in a lot of pain. Unfortunately he can't take anyhing sronger than tylenol while at work (you wouldn't want your nurse high on percosett ;)) so he's trying to push though. Poor thing.

That's about all the updates I have at this time. Hopefully I'll have some good news in a few weeks ;)